Category Archives: Uncategorized

There is no better video game tutorial, than death.  Give me as many key-binding walkthroughs, premise-explaining montages, and non-threatening test dummies as you want. I’ll soak up that information, and spit it back at you when you ask.  But I won’t learn a lick about how to play the game, until I’ve died trying. ThisContinue reading “I’ve Died Again.”

Yesterday, America’s peaceful transfer of power was carried out. Amanda Gorman absolutely slammed, Bernie Sanders sat obstinately, Chuck Schumer checked his phone. Mike Pence was stoic, and dutiful. The world watched, from a distance. And shattered windows be damned, the Capitol Building felt as dry and boring and important as it always has.  My modusContinue reading “At this hour, my friends, democracy has prevailed.”

I may have found a problem with myself.  I’m a quiet man, and prone to contemplating, especially over black coffee. In these still moments the thin white vapor from my mug seems to clarify my vision rather than obfuscate, and I drift away with it. I tend to ponder the Day, whether it be to-DayContinue reading “The People Deck.”

I am hesitant to meet you. Mostly it’s the weather. I can’t imagine a lunch date in August, me trying my best to seem sane while the sun radiates all rational thought from my mind. When I picture it, I see us sweating like cans of soda, or blasting the AC in our faces soContinue reading “I am hesitant to meet you.”

There are few things cooks covet more than spoons.  It’s an odd notion, outside of context. But at the end of the day every profession has a toolset: a box of things that augment their skills, extend their reach, or grant them superhuman ability. A practitioner must develop trust, familiarity with their tools. And eventuallyContinue reading “Perfect Spoon.”

Last summer my roommate bought himself a dog: an English mastiff puppy, weighing in at 130 pounds when he first met her. After many bags of dog food and perhaps too many carrots, she’s a bit bigger now, and we’ve learned to live together. But it’s about time to review the dog. Everyone knows youContinue reading “Review of My Dog: 3 / 5 ★’s.”

Nursing home residents account for 1% of the US population. Covid-19 deaths in nursing homes account for 40% of total US deaths. This is not acceptable. With better testing, scientists are beginning to understand how pervasive SARS-CoV-2 has truly been. According to the Wall Street Journal, new studies in Europe have discovered “excess deaths” thatContinue reading “Nursing Homes Deserve Our Attention.”

Looking back I can’t quite put a finger on my first Jenna Marbles video. Sifting through my history of Likes, it must have been sometime after the Minecraft Let’s Play scene had calmed down. But it was sometime before PewDiePie started reviewing subreddits… It must have been after Ze Frank had ended “the show”, butContinue reading “My Completely Accurate Timeline of YouTube and Jenna.”

Recently a neighbor of mine asked the apartment manager about buying my car. His name was Angel, and he was a mechanic. I had been meaning to sell the car for quite some time, so this inquiry was a godsend. The manager, Samara, acted as translator for our meeting. We met in the garage toContinue reading “My Sergeant of Mutually-Assured Destruction”

I’ve been watching a lot of Super Mario Maker 2 recently, speedruns and Let’s Play’s and livestreams. It’s a great game, with a great community built around it. It’s mechanics-heavy, but its difficulty curve is only as high as you set it. It’s a nostalgia piece with roots in the 1980’s, but it’s also aContinue reading “Dev Exit.”